THANKS FOR NOTHING

An Appreciating Asset

When I was preparing for pastoral ministry, an older, seasoned pastor warned me about the dangers of getting a messiah complex. He actually said to me, "You'll come out of seminary full of ideas, thinking you're going to change everyone and save the church. But, after awhile, you realize it's just not going to happen."

I wondered at the time, How long had it taken for his ministry passion to die? How many walls did he have to hit? How many disappointments did it take?

I also wondered why he didn't tell me this before I was already committed to this work and almost through seminary.

This pastor wasn't trying to discourage me. He was trying to give me a realistic view of ministry. But, I realized then, I don't want to be realistic about ministry. There is nothing tame, realistic, or rational about God's transforming grace. If a persecutor of the church could become a church planter and biblical author, (PAUL) I thought, God can change anyone. I decided that I wanted to be a conduit of that unrealistic kind of grace. The question is how? How can we help open a window for transformation in the lives of broken people and churches?

Gratitude (a word that's closely related to grace) has the power to do just that.

I've always found it strange that the apostle Paul expresses such deep gratitude for people, even when he's preparing to correct their behavior. In 1 Corinthians 1:4 he says, "I thank God for you …" and in verse 14, he's thanking God that he didn't baptize many of them as they quarrel on about who belongs to which apostle.

As disjointed as this might seem, I think Paul understood the power of gratitude to help guide people toward real transformation.

What fuels the transformation?

From a human perspective, gratitude has this impact because it lifts up the values of the church and the characteristics of Christ-followers in a way that is easy to hear. The Book of James says that people who listen to the word but do not do what it says are like people who look at themselves in the mirror, but in looking away, forget what they look like (James 1:22-25). If we look into the mirror and see ourselves as we were meant to be—noble and generous—then most people want to be even more generous, to truly be our best selves.

But, we easily fall into spiritual amnesia. Our personal inclinations and the enticements of the world promote some lesser version of ourselves that is self-centered and petty.

Gratitude causes longer gazes in that mirror. People see who they are, or at least who they want to be. How many times have we seen weight loss commercials or ads for workout equipment where someone is lost in the joy of admiring his or her transformed body? In the same way, gratitude holds up a mirror to show people, "This is who you are, who you were intended to be. Now, continue becoming who you are." We can help build joy into people over their transformed lives through our expressions of gratitude.

In this way, gratitude not only invites others to strive for their true potential as followers of Christ, it is also encouraging to the people who have changed. Perhaps we should all be self-sufficient and faithful enough to serve and strive even when no one seems to notice. But, what a lift we get from someone noticing enough to say, "I am so grateful for you!" Gratitude is one of those things that helps change persist and continue to progress.

What's the catch?

There really is no downside to expressing gratitude, but there is a catch. It must be authentic. People can smell insincerity. Blowing smoke to try to manipulate people will only serve to deaden their ears to our praise.

We all know there are broken places and broken people in each church. There are the "squeaky wheels," the "never-satisfied," and the "joy-eaters." Discouragement seems to follow and even blend with victories.

Recently, we were having a meeting that celebrated the growth of our children's and youth ministries. We were seeking feedback on plans for a new facility to accommodate those ministries. The spirit in the room was positive and light, but then out of nowhere, someone came up beside me and asked in a way that I knew was trouble, "Nothing's being done about the kitchen?"

"I don't think so," I said, "we can't do all that we might like with our resources, so we have to prioritize." With a pretty high level of frustration, she proceeded to tell me how people—important people!—are going to be very unhappy about this omission.

You know, I thought, I was almost having fun before that little exchange.


A PASTOR FRIEND